How to Love Yourself

Body Con & Schutz Kija

Body Con & Schutz Kija

Body Con & Schutz Kija

Body Con & Schutz Kija

Body Con & Schutz Kija

Body Con & Schutz Kija

Dress: ZARA, but similar here. Shoes: Schutz, or some here too. Clutch: Thrifted but similar here. Sunglass: Raybans

I love the journey and growth it took for me to grow into the body I have now. I remember being a teenager and not loving my body. Hating that I didn’t have boobs, a butt or hips. Wondering when I was ever going to get them, lol. All the other girls in school had this and that and I was just straight up and down. I remember telling myself that the minute I turned 18 I’d get my boobs done. And growing up in Atlanta, a predominantly black city, you can see how or why my mind led me to feel this way. MovingΒ  to New York after college was probably the best thing that ever happened to me. Looking back I hated it all, but now I can say everything was in due time. I appreciate every single thing about myself now.

In your late 20s, you start to realize the woman you want to become both physically and mentally. For me it started mentally and now I can say physically. The truth of the matter is that you have to love yourself inside before you can love and appreciate whats on the outside. No matter what you do to physically alter your outsides, plastic surgery, etc. you still have to love yourself TRULY on the inside. As in, you have to first find your identity before you allow society to do so. Because after you do all those things that you think will make you happier on the inside, fix your boobs, butt or nose, you’ll still end up finding something else wrong or something else you hate about yourself. Whether you’re trying to lose weight or gain weight, the concept applies to all of the above. Once you accept who you are and know what you want andΒ  you can CLEARLY define the things you DON’T want/like is when you start becoming yourself. Once you can stop caring about what others think, the general public’s opinion of you (the what will people think mentality) that’s when you start becoming who you want to be and not what society or those around you want you to become.

This is what New York has taught me, is to BE YOURSELF. It’s taught me not to care “what people will think”. It’s taught me that if I want to wear a fur coat to the grocery store I CAN, if I want to wear a tutu and get on the subway, go downtown and go shopping I CAN. It’s taught me that if millions of people can come here and be quirky, whimsical, spontaneous, Afro-centric, hippie like, crazy, artistic, and a million other things that people in New York are, then so can you. It’s taught me to let my freak flag fly and be PROUD. If I want to wash my hair, let it air dry into the biggest Afro and go out in public I CAN. Some guy will find it sexy and I’ll get a compliment and if I dontm, oh well. If I wanted to wear purple, green, blue or orange hair I CAN. THIS is why there’s a slogan plastered on t-shirts, key chains, mugs and signs that says: I LOVE NY. Because there’s no place in the world like it.

Photos shot by: Jenny Coerbell

12 Comments

    • May 11, 2015 / 3:54 pm

      Thaaaank you! What are your thoughts? What point are you at with knowing or loving yourself? I think as women its helpful and important to share this amongst ourselves.

  1. May 11, 2015 / 7:40 pm

    First off let me start by saying that you are slaying. Im loving this look. You know I support you bc you have a great spirit, But when I seen you post about your latest blog topic “Loving Yourself” I had to read it. In my opinion it takes time accepting your flaws, Im almost certain that it comes with age. But once you have learned to truly love yourself it is a beautiful thing. Its almost like its a certain glow and aire that a woman displays once she finds her confidence. I can admit that Im working on my self love but “We” as women have to stop competing & comparing ourselves to the next woman. I love this post

    • May 12, 2015 / 10:40 am

      Kim, THANK YOU for your love and continued support. You truly are always super supportive and I want you to know how much I truly appreciate that. I love your spirit too. Yes, I totally agree about the competition thing with women.I love that you are at that place in life too where you’re learning and loving your body and who you are. God made us all so different, that’s when we try to be what we are not the pain reflects inside and out. This is one of the reasons for the competition or the need women feel to compete with other women. If only we focused on ourselves more. Its funny that growing up we are taught NOT to focus on ourselves, when that’s actually the opposite of what we needed to do all along. We should focus on ourselves and still have a level of humility which is where the care, when necessary, for others will come. Thank you for reading the article and relating. I love that this is somewhere you feel comfortable sharing your personal thoughts and I hope you continue on this journey of finding and loving YOU. Biiiiig kisses!!!!! xx p.s. I thought you were awesome the day I met you πŸ˜‰

  2. Oghosa
    May 11, 2015 / 7:49 pm

    You are soooo gorgeous!! And I think you killing the Game! Girl I don’t really got a booty and I used to be discouraged! Because I thought I always needed to have that coke bottle shape to attract a man! But girl now I don’t care! You can love me or keep it moving! Someone will love and appreciate you for who you are and be in love with your look! Thanks for sharing this post!

    • May 12, 2015 / 9:31 am

      You’re too kind :-), Thank you!!! This is so awesome to see that we share the same feelings deep down. I totally agree with you and that has come with time. It feels so good to be at that exact place where you’re like “love it or boy bye!” xx

  3. May 12, 2015 / 12:05 am

    Great post, so personal and meaningful. Pretty easy to love yourself when you are working that dress. LoL, all jokes aside, thanks for sharing : )

    • May 12, 2015 / 11:01 am

      Lololol thank you! πŸ˜‰ Glad you read it and liked it too, xx

  4. LaShunda
    May 12, 2015 / 10:13 am

    well written. refreshing. inspiring.

    • May 12, 2015 / 10:41 am

      Thank you, thank you and Thank you!!!!! πŸ™‚

  5. Jo
    May 5, 2016 / 10:35 pm

    Where would I be able to find this mustard colored dress? Looks great on you!

    • July 19, 2016 / 9:13 am

      Thabk you! Bought it at Zara!

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